


You're a Prick, But I'm a Ghost So You Can't Hear me

by alick-lice1090 (pppolaris1090)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Everyone is female, F/F, Girl On Girl, Lesbian, No Smut, Not Incest, Not Really Character Death, Self-Harm, Starvation, countries are humans, fluff?, ghost - Freeform, good ending, not really germancest, second chapter is very angsty, they have different last names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pppolaris1090/pseuds/alick-lice1090
Summary: Secretary Monika Louise (Ludwig) and President Julia Beilschmidt have always been at each other's throats. Then one of them is murdered by a crazy psychopath. Life without the other... is it possible? The two of them have hidden feelings for each other. I suck at summaries sorry.Based on a Chinese web novel called "Who Moved My Ashes"Not really incest, cuz they have different last names.Also, because this is a translation fic, I will be grinding chapters out weekdays.Chapter 1 is a horrible horrible chapter and it will get better soon
Relationships: Germany/Prussia (Hetalia)
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [谁动了我的骨灰坛 (Who Moved My Ashes)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/620077) by 思镜渠. 



> Based on a Chinese web novel called "Who Moved My Ashes", but just following the plot. Chapter 1 and the last chapter should go according to the web novel, but the in-between won't be directly translated.  
> This is my first work! :-D  
> Also, because this is a translation fic, Imma be grinding these chapters out daily. Please check in!  
> Julia Beilshmidt = Prussia/Gilbert  
> Monika Louise = Germany/Ludwig  
> This first chapter is very short and rushed. Sorry~ (The Second chapter is way better)

Monika's chest heaved heavily as she walked around her office furiously, before abruptly turning around and slamming her palms on Julia's desk.  
"Why can't you think logically? Our company can't invest in that piece of land! Ten years ago, it was a chemical factory's dump. If you buy it, the financial loss is inevitable and you will have to live in your parent's house again!"  
Julia looked at her, exasperation clearly written on her face.  
"I said I was going to buy it so I'm buying that land. So what about that dump? It's not like I'm a farmer, planting crops to feed the poor."  
"Well, then tell me what you're going to use it for! Tell me!"  
Monika glared daggers at Julia, who didn't want to show any weakness.  
"Not telling." She grunted.  
Monika choked.

In the meanwhile, outside the office, all noise had stopped. All the workers had their ears pricked up to listen to this argument.  
"Ah, Secretary Louise is so daring."  
"Nonsense, you got this job too late, Feliciana. In this company, Secretary Monika and Beilschmidt have always been on the same level."  
"Bullshit, Secretary Louise's position has always been a little higher than President Beilschmidt's."  
"..."  
Feliciana had only been here for two months. She had just graduated from college and was not expecting this sort of workplace gossip...  
Secretary Honda patted her shoulder and stated, "Secretary Louise and Beilschmidt graduated from the same high school and college. Both of them have been working together since graduation. Whenever they argue, you must steer clear of that room."  
"Oh-! Then the relationship between the two of them should be warm, right?"  
Secretary Honda miserably smiled and spread her hands.  
"You think this is a warm relationship?"  
Even with a solid wooden door with quality sound insulation, one could still hear the angry roar of Secretary Monika.  
"Mein Gott! Fine, I won't interfere! Julia, you are just throwing your money anywhere you want and you'll only gain a financial loss!"

Silence.

"What did you say, Scheißkerl? That I'm going to lose money? I'll show you!"

Right after that sentence, all the secretaries immediately turned around and looked at their screens, the sounds of keyboard typing resuming.  
Monika shoved the door open, looked at her colleagues, and then forced a stiff smile.  
"I'll just be going outside to have lunch, don't worry about me. You guys enjoy your lunch break."  
"........."  
None of the secretaries responded.

Monika stood on the elevator, fuming. Whatever, this company isn't mine, the money isn't either. What am I so mad about? She had given her advice, it wasn't her fault Julia wouldn't listen.  
On the outside, Secretary Monika was calm and collected, but on the inside, she felt like venting her frustration.  
She walked quickly out the first floor, pulling out her phone to check on the daily news while she walked to the coffee shop.  
"Ah!!! Help- save me! Murderer!!!"  
Monika jerked her head up immediately and looked at the screamer. Suddenly, all the people on the floor began running to the exit and entrance doors, the elderly people also hobbling with a look of terror on their faces. Chaos ensued, people screaming "Run!" or "Help!"  
A woman cupping her stomach crawled past her, the pain evident on her face. Her hand dripped with blood. Behind her, a man stood, welding a sharp, bloody sushi knife.  
He was in the process of stabbing another young lady when he looked up and saw the tidy and organised Monika.

* * *

  
The next time Monika opened her eyes, she was at the exact same place, yet she knew already half a month had passed. Already, it was impossible to see the death of a young, fine lady occurred here. People brushed past and through her-  
Through her?  
Monika's body shook as she looked down. No... no feet but a faintly visible outline of her body could be seen.  
 _Scheiße... I cannot be..._ she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika eventually meets Julia, but Julia is very messed up. How can Monika help Julia get back on track? Will Julia even survive? What can Monika even do if she can't even be heard or seen?  
> Also goddamn do I suck at chapter summaries.  
> The first chapter sucked ass but hopefully I'll get into rhythm later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Mentions of:  
> \- Self-Harm  
> \- Starvation  
> Thanks for reading!

Julia looked like a ghost. Her skin was sickly pale and her eyes had sunken in so that she looked like a skeleton too. She had lost so much weight in the past half month that the clothes that fit on her before now sagged on her frail frame. She sat on her bed bowed over, holding objects in her hand with a box next to her.

Monika had never seen Julia look so appalling that she hesitated in drifting closer.

After she got over the fact that she was a ghost, she decided to come and visit her closest rival. Originally, her intent was to burst into the room and scare her like in a horror movie, but she found out that no one could see or hear her anyways after people walked straight through her. With her plans foiled, she could only visit Julia to see how she was doing- only to find an emaciated woman, so contrary to the original energetic and brash President she once knew.

"Julia... you- what happened to you?" She asked, knowing well that she could not hear her. Monika drifted closer and sat next to her on the bed.

At that moment, Julia felt a cold breeze, but it was too weak to attract her attention. She rearranged the items in her hand and sniffled.

Monika peered at the items in her hands and was startled.

Those photos... were all hers.

Company photos, friend photos, selfies, class photos, all of them were scattered around her, some arranged in an album, others on her lap, a few of them in her hands. Monika felt emotionally touched.

"You... You really made an album for me..." She whispered, "Oh, forget it, forget about that argument we had that morning, you can buy whatever land you want. In the end, I'm dead, and there isn't anything we can do. I-"

Julia suddenly spoke.

"You really are cruel. Of all the 489 photos of you, only 3 of them include me. Was I not that close to you? I, who hung out with you since high school... Did you really hate me that much?"

Tears began to slide down her cheeks. She turned to her side and picked up the object next to her.

Instantaneously, Monika had a bad feeling. This object, it was urn-shaped. It could not be...

She glanced up in horror as Julia studied the urn, weeping.

Then this urn contained her ashes?! How was it on Julia's bed?! Shouldn't it have been buried?

Disbelief coloured her face as she overlapped her body with Julia's to see the urn that she was gripping so tightly, her knuckles turned blue.

_Plop. Plop._

Two tears dropped onto the bottle.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, entschuldigung my friend..."

More tears plopped onto the urn as Monika stared dazedly. Presently a sharp metal tang pierced the air. Then she saw a red liquid slowly seeping from Julia's fingernails.

"Mein Gott, let go of the urn! Julia!"

Of course, Julia couldn't hear her, yet she released the urn, either in pain or resignation Monika did not know. Her nails had dug into the lines of the urn so harshly that they had bent, some of them even fragmented.

Monika watched in horror as Julia simply tugged at her nails, pulling out three of them without wincing. By the appearance of the other fingernails, this hadn't been the first time. She didn't even cry or whimper- only a pant here and there betrayed her pain.

After Monika was murdered, she could not have predicted Julia would be so beaten by her death. The loss of a good friend could not have devastated anyone this much, to the point of stealing their ashes and collecting all their photos to simply count how many she had been in them.

For three days, Monika stayed with Julia, who didn't set foot outside her home in that time. In those three days, only two meals were eaten, neither of them nutritious or healthy. 

One was a small bottle of yoghurt, bought by Monika a long time ago for Julia, originally intended to make up after another argument they had. It had been such a long time ago, even without looking anyone knew it had expired long ago. Julia didn't even bother scanning the label and gulped it all down.

The other meal was a packaged brezel, bought not too long ago. This was placed into the microwave and heated, plastic wrapper and all. Monika almost blew up in anger at the scene.

"Do you have a death wish? Don't you know that microwaved plastic can melt onto your food? Stop handling yourself this way!"

Julia didn't hear. Then, she took it out and bit into the plastic-glazed brezel. After chewing it, she swallowed all of it down.

Monika suddenly understood; Julia truly had a death wish. No human could survive past a month like this, much less half a month. The pain and stress would be unbearable for a normal being. At this rate, only a couple days would be left before she...

No, Monika couldn't just sit and let her friend decline. Although she couldn't save Julia, much less talk to her, she could get someone else to rescue her. After making her mind up, she was ready to leave.

But when Monika tried to walk through the gate, she was surprised to find she couldn't exit.

...

...

...

... Why can't I leave?

Anywhere Monika turned, no matter which direction, she couldn't go past the gates or walls.

But then what to do about Julia?

Julia didn't leave her home, not even to water her plants. Her family... far away. As long as she kept silent, no one would know...

Monika began to panic.

For the two nights ahead, Julia sat like a broken doll on her bed. She held the urn in her hands, turning it over and over, then slept without cleaning herself, woke up, cried, looked at the photo album and the urn, then slept and continued this process. Monika fretted over her, often hugging her or crying with her closest friend and rival.

When Secretary Honda came, Monika almost cried with joy as if Honda was an angel descending from the heavens.

But... this angel's face had no expression or worry. She pressed the doorbell for 5 minutes straight until Julia opened the door for her.

Monika's jaw dropped. Julia had brushed her hair back, applied makeup to hide her sunken face, and wore a casual suit that hid her fragile frame. She looked... as if nothing was wrong.

"President Beilschmidt, the vacation has ended. It's time to go back to work."

Julia turned her eyes away and hollowly responded.

"You have Vice President Alice. Don't bother me anymore."

She began to shut the door, but Secretary Honda moved her foot into the entrance.

"Please, I know deaths are hard to take, but you must think about your future and your company's future. Life must go on- there are so many things to get done, you can't throw it all away like this!"

Silence. 

"President Beilschmidt, I know she was very close to you. However, it's time to let go... The dead have already died, and the living must live on. Your friend-"

"Don't! It's different."

Secretary Honda didn't understand.

"What's different?"

A brief pause. Julia looked up, eyes glazed over and filled with tears.

"Your love cannot be compared to mine. You are able to shake it off and start new relationships, but I cannot."

At that moment, Monika jerked her head up. She gaped at Julia in shock. 

What did that mean? Julia obviously had other friend relationships, so why couldn't she get over hers?

Secretary Honda sighed. She looked down, as if unsure how to word this properly, then removed her foot.

"I won't come around anymore, then. You are very stubborn, and I won't try to persuade you anymore. As long as you are kept by the company, I will come by every day."

She turned her head to leave.

"However, don't think the company and its employees can survive without you. Secretary Feliciana struggled when she first came here, working her hardest. She is a good subordinate. While you can quit this company because of your wealthy family, Secretary Feliciana cannot afford to lose this job. I hope you recover enough to realize this."

Farewell then, President Beilschmidt."

Monika could see that Julia was touched by Secretary Honda's speech. The two of them had never been close and yet Honda was willing to say so much to her. Evidently, she was touched but hid her feelings in her fist behind her back. 

The next day, she dressed for work and went back to the company. At first, Monika was relieved to see her go. Perhaps then Julia would realize her other relationships at the workplace could replace Monika's, and perhaps she would begin to act normally.

This was not the case.

When Julia returned home, the first thing she did was stuff her face full of fast food from McBonalds. Then, she would go upstairs to study room to continue her work, and then sleep at 2 o'clock in the morning while holding Monika's urn in her embrace. 

Then, she would wake up at 6 o'clock and leave for work.

Monika didn't know what to act. This was an improvement, but... Julia was too much like a machine. She hoped Julia could at least vent to her urn and let out her emotions, partially to know what her relationship with Monika was and for her to release her stress.

Like this, life continued for another month. Her parents' video called their daughter, who looked healthy and self-confident. Secretary Honda, Feliciana, and some other secretaries visited from time to time to enjoy some dinner and have a laugh.

Suddenly, after a month, Julia received a phone call. The caller told her the murderer was finally executed. In fact, they got a confession.

It was rather simple:

The murderer was a N.E.E.T. and his wife had left him along with his children. His family had all passed away. He eventually became depressed and suicidal. However, he wanted to leave with a bang. Previously, he was fired as a clerk from the company Monika worked at, so he decided to commit his crime in that company. Finally, he was executed by electric-

Julia hung up and huffed.

Then, she smiled.

Monika could tell something had changed in Julia but was unsure of what.

Julia went to her bedroom and took the urn out. She caressed the urn and kissed it gently. Monika sat next to her.

"He's finally dead," she whispered, "I couldn't avenge you because he really has nothing. His wife and children were all innocent, just like you."

"

I wonder if it was our argument." Her voice was so quiet, Monika had to lean closer. Julia's eyelids lowered and her breaths became laboured. "Do you blame me?"

_ No, _ Monika wanted to say. She wanted to hug her or do something at least to comfort her friend and make her know it was no one's fault, only the fault of fate. So, she sat across from her friend and held her hand. For a long time, neither of them spoke, and Monika thought she had fallen asleep.

"I..." her voice at this point was too quiet; Monika had to place her ear next to her mouth to listen to what came next. "I'm... so tired... I'm so... afraid... I can't be as strong... as you were. I know, if you... were here you... would be scolding... me..."

Nothing came out of her lips again. Julia only gave a small smile and her eyelids slowly closed. Monika looked at her face and seemed to understand something horrible.

Abruptly, she stood up and looked around before running downstairs, and saw the stove, for who knows how long had been turned on. At this moment, Monika understood there was a fate worse than death.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika opens her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh ahh ahhhhh I'm so sorry I'm late!  
> I won't lie, I don't have any excuses.  
> ;-;  
> When I was translating this chapter, Einsamkeit PrussiaXGermany duet started playing.  
> I will say of this chapter- I didn't know how to feel when I read the untranslated version of this...  
> I felt betrayed, I wanted angst, but at the same time I wanted this happy ending...  
> What do you think?

The next time Monika opened her eyes, it was a clear blue colour, white cotton dotting the sky. People walked around her, the stone in the stream. They all went forward with an intention in their mind, most of them ignoring her. And this... this was the place right outside of her company building...?

Monika stood, stunned, for a long time, until someone accidentally bumped into her, jarring her thoughts. She didn't know what had happened. Before, she was a ghost, invisible to the human eye, but now... could she have gone back in time?

Her hands shook as she reached into her bag and took out her cellphone. Hurriedly, she turned the phone on.

April 12, two months before that "day".

After this, Monika ran to her company to check if everything was the same, there was no mistake. Sure enough, this was the first day that the new Secretary Feliciana Vargas had checked in. "Ah, welcome Secretary Louise!"

"Hello," Monika flashed a smile before heading straight to the manager's office.

Feliciana was stunned and looked at Secretary Jones. "Where is she going? President Beilschmidt is still inside!"

"It's okay. You'll learn more about the two of them later on, dude!"

"..."

Julia Beilschmidt sat at her desk, organizing her papers and pens. While her friends could call her personality wild and outgoing, she always kept everything neat and tidy. She was just in the process of flipping a pen around when Monika burst into her office without knocking, startling her so that she dropped her pen.

Julia frowned at the fallen pen. "What happened?"

Monika stared hard at her face, which looked ten times healthier than it was last she saw. Her face still had some flush, her body not yet skin and bones. Although she was still a bit skinny, she was still there in the flesh.

"Nothing happened." Her voice came out a bit hoarse.

Julia knew something was up but didn't know what, so she put down her papers, cleared her throat, and asked, "If nothing happened, why'd you come in without knocking? Monika Louise, you are a secretary, I am the president, you should show more respect to me... Hey, did you even hear what I said?"

Monika stood up and reached her hand out to touch Julia's forehead. Her cold fingers brushed her skin, then suddenly her waist was being fiercely hugged. Julia stiffly stood there, one arm half hugging her friend, her body awkwardly stiff.

Monika's hug was warm and enveloping, but Julia was still a skinny lady. Pressed against her abundant chest, Julia couldn't breathe at all. However, she thought even if she were to suffocate and die, she would definitely never tell Monika to stop. This was the first time she had hugged her, and she had to enjoy it to the fullest.

After two seconds, her eyesight began to grow dark. She stretched out her hand and patted her arm for release. She wanted to ask what was wrong, something definitely happened. Otherwise, the straight and prim Monika wouldn't have burst into her room for a hug that took the breath straight out of Julia.

"What happened? Tell your superior what went wrong, I will definitely try my best to help you."

Monika didn't respond, only a heart racking sob came from her embrace. Julia didn't know if she said anything wrong and instantly asked again, but the dry sobs and cries only grew in strength. Wet teardrops found their way onto Julia's office suit, who was scared to death by the strong Monika weeping. Abruptly, Monika straightened up and struck her arm.

" _ Scheiße! _ What was that for-"

"Bloedel! Coward! No responsibility at all! Selfish devil! I hate you!"

Monika wasn't some weak pitiful girl. In university, she was the top player in her volleyball team. So, Julia's arms went numb from all the strikes Monika landed on her. She stood there, dumbstruck, listening to Monika scolding her with tears as her brain went blank.

? ? ?

? ? ? ? ? ?

What did you say?

Who was an idiot? A coward? Who's selfish? What did I do to you?


End file.
